Local Man's New Stereo "Coming Along Alright".
Local man Mr Sprague Dawley has aroused suspicion among local physicists over his construction of a homemade stereo which looks to be large enough to decelerate time itself.
When queried over specifics, Mr Dawley said "I nicked all the parts from the Warehouse. I think I'll call it 'The Black Sabbath Worm Hole'. Come in for a look."
"One tweeter. For one speaker. There are eight speakers. One tweeter is one eighth the size of a woofer."
"Rubber-sheathing insulates the eight fairly sizable speaker wires. In order to keep them cool. In the background is the Vortex Of Sound. In the foreground, some poor cunt that was standing there during a test run. Must've missed the memo for that day. Better notify the next of kin. In 1324."
Left to right, phono-jack input L and R, tape-jack input L and R, etc.
Sign in the back probably says "DAEWOO COMMAND YOU TO DIE FOR BLACK SABBATH."
Some dork attempts to 'upload' some of my 50 million-strong archive
of 7-inch records into a "computer". He was shot in the anus and then
the face and hiffed out with the burnables in the morning.
Spare speaker wire. "Yeah, sure, it's off, you can touch it." Haha.
See ya in 1324, pal.
Prince William adapting to life with ugly mongrel.
--Telegraph--
Prince William is said to be adapting to life with his ugly mongrel. "At first I thought the little cunt was so ugly that I would have to biff him out with the f**king burnables" said the Prince. "And the constant fucking yapping just about drove me bonkers. I must confess, I did end up booting the little shit down the stairs more than once. 'Just fuck up!' I'd yell. The poxy cunt still sleeps outside. It's the smell more than anything. Kate goes out to be with him some nights. I even put a little mattress outside there for the two of them. Now that I think about it... sometimes the two of them get a little bit too friendly.... oh well, he has got a huge cock so I suppose that part is understandable."
"You really should see the f**king thing."
Local Man "incensed" with tattoo error.
--RST--
Local man Mr Sprague Dawley is said to be "incensed" due to not
one but two glaring errors related to his latest tattoo artwork.
"Momoka, you would not BELIEVE what some cross-eyed cunt
has gone and done to my back..."
"I am fucking incensed" said Mr Dawley. "I paid a lot of money to have this artwork done. And look at it! Just fucking LOOK at the mistakes! Not one but two glaring fucking errors! Yes, you know what I'm talking about... I don't need to spell it out to you.... obviously BOTH of the nutsacks at the bases of the cocks are too fucking small! It looks stupid! The fucking shame of it all, not one but TWO comically small ballsacks wrought indelibly upon my rested lumbaris wing scapulus for all eternity. How am I supposed to answer the doorbell in this fucking state? Am I supposed to use my 'imagination' to explain away to the pizza delivery boy as to WHY I am sporting, for all eternity, such a ludicrous error in my illustrated duophonic cockbag proportionality? Am I doomed to spend the rest of my days being followed around back-to-front by this withered and wintery contracted duo of ballsacks? Am I OI!, where the fuck are you goi
